why python sucks

This is a complete and utter joke, but I’m doing it anyway.

ugly oop

A class in Python looks something like this:

class Breakfast:
    def __init__(self, food: str, number: int):
        self.food: str = food
        self.number: int = number

    def get_food(self):
        return self.food * self.number

Look at that. Take a moment and see just how messed up that is. First, look! You actually have to manually declare and initialize every. single. thing. in the constructutor. That’s so ugly, goddammit. And like, why would you ever put so many underscores around anything. That’s horrifying.

And like, see all of that self? You have to put it EVERYWHERE. Python isn’t even smart enough to make it implicit. You have to write it out every. damn. time.

And guess what? You can’t even make it private. Every piece of code has access to everything. Do you know how buggy that is? It’s like, why?

constants

Python has no constants. What people say in Python is “just don’t change it.” And maybe that works for them, but I doubt that anyone who’s ever said that has ever worked in a team before. If they had, they’d have seen all the bugs that arise from such negligence.

whitespace

Ah, whitespace, our good friend. Another reason why Python belongs in the Great Pacific Garbage Patch. Unlike any sane language that uses braces or begin and end keywords, Python decided to assign semantic meaning to whitespace. Whitespace! Who in their right minds would assign semantic meaning to something that can’t be seen.

dynamic typing

Dynamic typing fucking sucks. Anyone who’s written any half-decent software in their lives knows it. Hell, even Python developers have realized it, and they’ve come up with tools like mypy and pyright. But if you’re going to use a static type checker, why not just use a sane language that’s statically typed in the first place?

in closing

Let that all sink in for a moment. Think about how horrifying that all is. Maybe Python’s the hot language in town these days, but five years from now? You’ll be happy you didn’t learn it.